Please Explain INDIA to Me!


kalam baby kissIndia is a great riddle. Explaining India and its 1280 million people to an outsider (even to an Indian!) is a nightmare. Protect your sanity if you try to do it!

In layman’s language, India is the US population times 4, ghettoed in one-third land area. It is the European Union – with all its diversity and problems – multiplied by 4. The difference between North and South India is, at least, as much as between Sweden and Portugal – the two ends of Europe! The largest state, Uttar Pradesh, with 200 million people is as big as Brazil or two-and-a-half times Germany – the largest EU country. People from South can communicate effortlessly with North Indians without knowing their languages; and vice versa!

Go into the stereotype – mourn over gravest poverty and destitution, wonder whether the lower caste dalits are better or worse than Blacks of the US, how Congressmen see their paradise at the Holy feet of Italian Queen Sonia and speculate who runs to which god when in trouble! If you happen to be a demographer and are a Malthus disciple then try looking for the ‘population bomb’ and how Indians ‘breed like rabbits’ (borrowing a phrase from the colonial master, Churchill!) and will soon eat away of the complete food supply of the planet!

Get out of the stereotype – discover the Silicon Valley in Bangaluru and IT professionals eating Big Macs in McDonalds or pizzas in Pizza Huts, young financial market experts learning to measure everything in money and laugh at everything connected with India’s culture and moral values, the IPL and cricket fans making it a modern national festival, Mangal Yaan going to Marsh in the maiden attempt raising eyebrows around the world, world’s largest solar photovoltaic power plant (750MW) to be set up soon in Madhya Pradesh, hear PM talking of bullet trains and 100 Smart Cities, watch Indian PM’s rock star reception in the rich countries, and politicians talking directly to public through twitter, facebook, instagram, linkedin and other gardens of the cyberspace.

For global investors there are 1% richest souls of India (12.5 million), including 97 billionaires – who can populate Switzerland one-and-a-half times. They can’t believe when told that India is home to the third largest number of billionaires after the US and China. Then there is the middle class of 500 million people, or one-and-a-half times the US, who can survive in any condition and the only thing that scares them is the ‘inflation’! Their sheer number is mouth watering for FMCG and electronics goods companies from across the globe.

Indians are ashamed to feel proud in their culture, yet fail to get modern despite eating pizza and Big Mac with American beer. Do you want to know why Indians feel themselves inferior compared “foreign” people?  Read This: The White Woman and India!

A Great Country for Poverty Lovers!

why i am poor

Of the rest, 363 million are ‘officially’ poor – and the rest many hundred millions are confused of their status. They hang between being poor and very-poor or between poor-class and middle-class. Indian bureaucrats have devised a wonderful lens to spot poor from the rest. On their thermometer, if you are alive in New Delhi on Rs 47–a-day you are not poor! (Of course, the dead don’t speak!!) Try it at your risk, if you love adventure!

The World Bank is also in the poverty business. They also have some sharp brains that can accurately spot the poor. Yes, they have the $1.25-a-day benchmark that tells that precisely 42% Indians are poor; they also have another poverty line of $2-a-day that makes 76% Indians poor!

People in the UN’s Development Program are simply too creative. They don’t like simple poverty lines so they created a complicated multidimensional poverty index (MPI) that checks poverty on 10 parameters. Their latest analysis of 2014 says that 54% (650 million) Indians are poor and 16% (190 million) people are vulnerable to poverty. Taken together, 70% Indians are either actually poor or in close range. They also reveal that 9% or around 110 million Indians are very-very poor.

You can also make your own poverty-meter and get whatever number you want!  You see, no matter how you count – you always find a lot of poor folks in India. Counting poor is a great pastime! It keeps a lot of rich people busy and alive who would die of boredom otherwise!!

Being the global poverty hub, India offers a wide spectrum of research material for ‘poverty experts’ – who have never seen hunger or homelessness in their life, demographers, political scientists and sociologists. India also offers good targets for UN’s Development Programs and is a great place for case studies for Oxfam and other global poverty warriors. There are plenty of flourishing business opportunities for child and women traffickers as well as their saviors!

And don’t forget that Indian poverty offers great entertainment too – remember the Hollywood film Slumdog Millionaire !  Filthy rich of the Western societies love filthy Indian poverty!!

India Shining – From 2 to 97 Billionaires!


Since early 1990s, economic reforms and liberalization have brought prosperity in India. The number of billionaires has sky-rocketed (stealing a phrase from the stock market!): from just 2 (among 850 million people) in 1991 to almost 100 (among 1.28 billion Indians) in 2015.The rich elites are also controlling more wealth: their share increased from 1.8 percent in 2003 to 26 percent in 2008. Today, they are still richer and much more powerful.

A more reliable indicator of India’s rise to prosperity is to look at the magnitude of scandals and scams. In 1992, when market reforms just started Harshad Mehta led stock market scam was estimated at 750 crores. Many financial experts had difficulty to count that mind boggling number. But now even the CAG estimate of 1,86,000 crore Coal Scam proves to be an understatement!   Please don’t ask me how many zeros are there in this number. Then there are 2G and 3G Scams and many more. Commonwealth Games’ Scam is yet another great example; Mr “Honest” Arvind Kejriwal claimed to have a big dossier on Delhi CM Sheila Dixit’s involvement but people know that nothing is going to happen. This is Indian politics!

Ignorant people blame Manmohan Singh, who merely offered face of the Prime Minister – but internal sources tell that his boss Sonia had thrown the country literally to dogs!

What is most fascinating is that half of the New Billionaires did not earn their wealth by working; they earned it through their ‘connections’ that allowed them to shape government policies and gain access to land.

Royal “Damad Ji” – son-in-law Robert Vadra – of Congress Queen Sonia can be cited as a brilliant example of how to mint money through ‘connections at the top’. It is how the business-politician-bureaucrat nexus works. But unfortunately, before he could land in the elite Billionaire Club some people spoil the show!

Comedy of Economic Reforms and Globalization!

Simon Kuznets - what is growing

A lot of farmers killed themselves and many others are still doing it.

Even politicians make noise about farmers’ suicide!  And do practically nothing!!

In reality, farmers will continue to die, tribals will continue to be displaced from their ancestral lands, and village folks will continue to shift to cities – regardless of what noises politicians and media make.

They are actually ignorant and confused people. They don’t know anything about ‘reforms’. They fail to understand that ‘reforms’ are not meant to benefit the poor or farmers; they are only meant to grow the holy GDP! This is possible only if reforms focus on the rich people!

Economic reforms are really for the people with capital, particularly for people with lot of capital. Most particularly they are for multinational corporations so that they get still bigger and continue to rule the world through their money power. Market only works for those who have money; that’s what globalization and economic reforms are all about.

And, what about the poor?

They should open the mouth widely and keep looking towards ‘Heavens’ – someday, something might trickle down to them!  This is the great Trickle Down Theory that makes countries’ rich by expanding their economies.

Indian tribals can contribute towards ‘reforms’ by vacating their lands and staying away from mines, waters and other natural resources so that big ‘Seth Jis’, both desi and videsi, can set up mega size factories and grow country’s GDP, make India rich, and or course make the finance minister happy! They must help the rich become millionaire and billionaire by working long hours on smallest wages so that Forbes Magazine can take note of India’s new money lords.

That’s how the poor, farmers and tribals can contribute to’ reforms’.

But what of poverty elimination, farmers suicides and tribal displacements?

That’s a foolish question – why should the FM pay attention to farmers when the farming sector contributes just 16% to GDP, poor folks contribute practically nothing and tribals don’t even know what GDP is?

Just look at the GDP growth and stock markets indices, count millionaires and billionaires, and be Happy!!

Comedy of Indian Secularism!

secularism definition in india

India is a Great “Secular” country!  Great, because India doesn’t follow the ‘normal’ English meaning of ‘Secularism’ – religion neutrality of State !!

Neither the Indian State, nor the politicians are ‘religion neutral’.  Indira family owned Congress Party has given innovative colors to ‘Secularism’ – English dictionary makers of UK and US should take language lesson from the ex Indian National Congress!

If you keep a secret I can disclose that today there is nothing ‘Indian’ or ‘National’ about this Party. It is mere a ‘Congress’ of brown British living in India – they are people who love to play the role of servile ‘Darbaris’ in the Court of Her Highness Sonia or His Highness Rahul of Indira clan! The ‘National’ part was taken away by chameleon politician Sharad Pawar and the ‘Indian’ portion disappeared several years ago! You can easily guess how and when!!

Enough tribute to greatness of Indian Congressis, let’s come to the ‘Secular’ comedy now. But first a short lecture:

The concept of ‘Secularism’ was devised 350 years ago in the Christian West to keep religion away from State policies. Why?

Because when a State is guided by a religion (which is again foreign originated monolithic ‘belief system’ that inherently discriminate against non-believers) it naturally works against people of other life philosophies and beliefs. For instance, many people don’t believe in God, Son of God or Prophet and other religion prescriptions of the Holy Book – they want to live guided by their own rational thinking.

But if the State is Secular (not dictated by religious principles), people of diverse beliefs can follow their different culture and lifestyle without any fear of State Dictates.

Now let’s come to Indian society.

Hinduism and all other India born life philosophies are Dharma based – universal ethics of good behavior for all people. They are neither binding nor do they divide people between believers and non-believers. Different philosophies are seen as different ways to practice Dharma. However, they all see Humanity as One: Vasudeva Kutumbakam! Therefore, diversity and flexibility is already built in and they are inherently secular!

Further, they can’t be called ‘religions’ – in the rigid sense Islam or Christianity are. They don’t have the concept of ‘my god’ and ‘your god’ – there is just One Almighty for the whole humanity. People may call it Allah, God or Bhagwan. They are even free to believe in something else, even reject the idea of God or soul or religions and faiths. Thus, Indian society has a place of all manners of diverse beliefs; there is no exclusionary thinking on the basis of faith or belief. [World needs more Dharma, less Religion]

Thus, if secularism is guaranteed by Indian Constitution, it only applies on discriminatory foreign born faiths – Christianity, Islam, Judaism, and Zoroastrianism (Parsis); not on Hindus and other indigenous faiths. Moreover, Parsis and Jews have no problem living peacefully among Hindus. But Muslims and Christians (they are all ex-Hindus converted during Mughal or British rule) have ultrahigh ‘my faith’ consciousness and rigid ‘my god bigger than your god’ type mindset. Then, they play the ‘game of religious conversion’ to prop up their numbers for political mileage. Only they are in news in all clashes with rest of the 85% ‘inherently secular’ Indians.

This is the BIG problem.

Now coming back to secular comedy:

secular 4

Over the decades, Congress Party has squarely reduced the whole idea of secularism to a sick joke. Yes, a sick joke on Hindus and hence on the Indian State – world sees it as Hindu India. So a big section of intelligentsia has started to call it ‘SICKULARISM’ !!

After discovering that the Muslim community’s electoral behavior revolves around dictates of their religious leaders, it converted secularism to mere “Muslim appeasement vote bank politics”. Thus, Indira Gandhi openly hobnobbed with powerful Muslim Mullahs like Imam of Delhi’s Jama Masjid to get their dictates (Farhamns) in favour of Congress around election times. In 1986, Rajiv Gandhi surrendered ‘secularism’ before Islamic clerics in the Shah Bano case.

Here is a recent example of the same non-secular behaviour of AAP supremo Arvind Kejriwal:

ak topi

Arvind Kejriwal turned out to be another Fake Secular

In 2013, Kejriwal visited Bareilly to butter Mullah Tauqeer Raza Khan to get Muslim votes, and certificate of secularism as well.  Such comradery with religious clergies is a blatant mockery of ‘secularism’ in broad day light. Worst part is that it goes against progressive Muslims who want to vote on merits with their free will – on which any vibrant free democracy stands.

Most thinking Indians have another worry – in 1947 united India was divided politics of Islam. They see clear danger in allowing Muslim clergy to come in contact with political power centers. Indian Muslim community is still suffering from the traditional inherent tendency to rest political powers in the hands of it clergy.

As a result, Indian secularism has fallen squarely on the feet of Muslims and Christians clergy.

Therefore, if a politician wants to show off as ‘Secular’ he must get a ‘secular certificate’ from a Muslim Mullah or a Christian Father!

Here are the working principles of ‘Secularism’ – as established by Congress Party and its Royal family!

You are secular

if you appease Muslims or Christians and treat them as “vote banks”;

if you call Hindus and Hindu organizations ‘Communal’;

if you say Akbar and Aurangjeb were Great!

if you ignore the persecution of Hindus in Pakistan and Bangladesh;

if you say that Muslim convicts of 1993 Mumbai serial blasts should not be hanged;

if you say that Urdu be taught in all schools.

…and this is the latest!!

You are secular if you call Hindus and India INTOLERANT!!!!!

But be warned! 

You become communal

if you call Shiva Ji, Maharana Pratap, Raja Surajmal, Guru Teg Bahadur or any other Hindu icons Great!

if you demand restoration of Ram Mandir in Ayodhyaya or return of Kashmiri Hindus;

if you want abolition of Haj subsidy to Muslims;

if you take pride in India’s ancient culture;

if you talk about India’s great ancient spiritual heritage;

if you talk of uniform civil code;

if you talk of high fertility rate of Muslim community;

if you want Sanskrit to be revived and propagated or praise Vedas and Yoga or meditation.

These are only some selected pearls of Indian Secularism – advocated and popularised by Nehru family’s private political party.

As things stand today, ‘secularism’ has become a term to describe anything anti-Hindu.

Here a cartoonist’s portrayal of Indian seculars:

fake secular

Did you notice that film PK was ‘greatly secular’ because it profusely mocked Hindu gods, yet not a single scene involving Muhammad. You know fairly well what would have happened if anything mocking Quran or Prophet were part of PK. Let’s see how courageous Amir Khan is in his PK-Returns!

This man, without any gratitude towards the great country and its vast pool of Hindus who made him what he is today without looking at his religious label, wants to leave India because India is Intolerant! Well, there is no anti-dote to infection coming from religious virus, as yet!!

Do you remember, in 2012, the Congress government did not allow Salman Rushdie (Satanic Verses) to speak in Jaipur because it will displease Muslim Mullahs. WB CM Mamata Banerjee does not support progressive Muslim women writer Taslima Nasreen, again for the same reason.

Free Tip: If you want to become instantly ‘Secular’;  just start calling BJP ‘communal’ and Hindu organizations fascist!

This nasty virus of Sickularism has infected Indian media also – Rajdeep Sardesai, his journo wife Sagarika, Barkha Dutt, etc are among the best examples of brains infected with sickularism. They are routinely mocked on social media – they are increasingly addressed as presstitutes, paid journalists, bazaaru writers and many other words that can’t be written here.

Here are the secular fools opposing death sentence of 1993 Mumbai blast convict, Yakub. They couldn’t different differentiate between Kalam – a true legend and national hero– and a convicted traitor.

yakub 2

Great (sick)ular comedy, isn’t it?

Yes, this happens only in India!!


Indian Secularism is Half Islamist, Half Pakistani

Don’t miss:   Please Explain Pakistan to Me!

2 Responses to Please Explain INDIA to Me!

  1. Ravi Kumar says:

    You look really frustated with the idea of India becoming secular.

    Why do you think Indian government should care of Bangladeshi or Pakistani Hindus, despite their being non-Indians ? To appease the Hindu vote bank like what the BJP does, taking sides on communal issues rather than solving them ethically.

    • Goodpal says:

      Indian society is already secular because of the life philosophy of its 85 percent population. India has to grow into One People by erasing various divides – even if it is religious. What is wrong in talking about plight of kashmiri Pundits, or Hindus of Pakistan and Bangladesh. Religious or poitical disharmony in our neighbohood is dangerous for a multi cultural nation like India.

      The cult of accusing Hindu organiations, Hindus and their leasders as communal needs condemnation, particularly by all Indians. Parsis and Jews present wonderful example of how to live peacefully and contribute towards national development. The so-called minorities and their appeasers need to learn from them. In fact, they are role model for all who are ever busy widening the social faultlines under various pretexts.

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